The Man-Cave Manifesto
We don't think a Man-Cave is the right place for the stereo. In fact, we question the value of a man-cave in general.
There ... we've said it. Yes, "we" as in BOTH of us.
You might be ensconced in your man-cave right now and think we're talking crazy. But we aren't. We think you are being too stubborn to compromise. We'll even say that your significant other may not be as flexible as she thinks, too.
And yes, we are saying "he" and "she" here because, after attending the NY Audio show we both are convinced that building a stereo is in the vast majority of cases is a male-thing, and objections to that 'hideously large' or 'hideously ugly' speakers/amplifiers/cables/rack is a female-thing. And if you are experiencing this as a same-sex couple, realize there is a dynamic at play. We'll let you substitute the appropriate pronouns yourself.
But that stereo that is in the man-cave costs a fortune. And why are you locking it away? It is begging to be used most nights. With your family (cue up the nagging voice in your head "what ... you don't like your family?"). Oh and even if you have young kids that are a little too
curious for their own good - there are ways of handling that, too - you
can't hide behind them anymore! If you can kid-proof a kitchen, you can kid-proof a stereo.
A typical high end stereo with 1-2 carefully chosen sources is a significant expense. Sometimes the cost of a computer, sometimes a car, sometimes a really nice car ... and for those truly fiscally endowed ... a house.
This expenditure is a sacrifice (The way an expensive vacation or a sportscar is a sacrifice as it crowds out other things), even if the direct pain is avoided by buying it through windfalls and found money - it is still money allocated, and a lot of it. And then it's locked away and usually enjoyed occasionally, and only by one person.
And the majority of explanations for this sad state of affairs is that something is too big, too ugly or such. There may be some truth to it - but with a few smart spending choices, usually you can find something that would work and bring high quality sound for the whole family. You may have to forego the 6 foot tall, 3 foot wide panels speakers for something more compact but still sounds fantastic. You may need to dump the tubes and go solid state (and frankly, a good solid state amp and good tube amp will sound about the same anyway). You will likely want to house it in a nice rack that has some furniture qualities to it rather than something that is a refugee from Frankenstein's Lab -- but we can assure you that it is totally worth working it out. Some choices of finishes will need to be a joint decision - and some things might need to be switched to something else because looks do matter in this sort of thing. And you may need to add a source or two that will allow people nervous about 'wrecking things' ability to play it (see ... you are being stubborn and selfish, too - I saw that flinch! There have been leaps and bounds in this sort of thing - Sonos was our compromise source and it's pretty good and perfect for what we wanted! CD players are also great for this, too!).
Too often we hear stories that make us think it is a power struggle over who controls what - and the man-cave becomes an armistice that avoids conflict. Did you realize this compares to the relationship between North and South Korea? Mean but accurate.
But this also means the convertible you have sacrificed to have the illusion of Jimmy Page playing just for you - gets to be enjoyed about as much as a dust laden convertible in Seattle. And speaking of Jimmy Page ... a few music choices by your S.O. and kids, if you have them, will need to be made - you may end up playing a broader or narrower palate of music - and this isn't all bad. You may even be able to steer your kids away from Barney and toward They Might Be Giants ... a big step up for parental sanity. Teens will usually 'discover' Elton John and Queen and love it - as we've experienced. And we also got to be 'inadvertently cool' by downloading a high rez version of the latest Fun. album much to the delight of both kids. And a couple of puzzled looks from them. Bwa ha haa!
If you guys can pull it off, it'll eventually become a central element of your entertainment. You will get to listen and get the benefit of all that cash every night if you want.
So ... get rid of the man-cave and bring that stereo into the main room and let everyone in on the fun!
There ... we've said it. Yes, "we" as in BOTH of us.
You might be ensconced in your man-cave right now and think we're talking crazy. But we aren't. We think you are being too stubborn to compromise. We'll even say that your significant other may not be as flexible as she thinks, too.
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| At least the whole family got to listen to music on this |
And yes, we are saying "he" and "she" here because, after attending the NY Audio show we both are convinced that building a stereo is in the vast majority of cases is a male-thing, and objections to that 'hideously large' or 'hideously ugly' speakers/amplifiers/cables/rack is a female-thing. And if you are experiencing this as a same-sex couple, realize there is a dynamic at play. We'll let you substitute the appropriate pronouns yourself.
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| Version 1.0 of the man-cave |
A typical high end stereo with 1-2 carefully chosen sources is a significant expense. Sometimes the cost of a computer, sometimes a car, sometimes a really nice car ... and for those truly fiscally endowed ... a house.
This expenditure is a sacrifice (The way an expensive vacation or a sportscar is a sacrifice as it crowds out other things), even if the direct pain is avoided by buying it through windfalls and found money - it is still money allocated, and a lot of it. And then it's locked away and usually enjoyed occasionally, and only by one person.
 |
| Early 'Media Room" ... and our goal |
Too often we hear stories that make us think it is a power struggle over who controls what - and the man-cave becomes an armistice that avoids conflict. Did you realize this compares to the relationship between North and South Korea? Mean but accurate.
But this also means the convertible you have sacrificed to have the illusion of Jimmy Page playing just for you - gets to be enjoyed about as much as a dust laden convertible in Seattle. And speaking of Jimmy Page ... a few music choices by your S.O. and kids, if you have them, will need to be made - you may end up playing a broader or narrower palate of music - and this isn't all bad. You may even be able to steer your kids away from Barney and toward They Might Be Giants ... a big step up for parental sanity. Teens will usually 'discover' Elton John and Queen and love it - as we've experienced. And we also got to be 'inadvertently cool' by downloading a high rez version of the latest Fun. album much to the delight of both kids. And a couple of puzzled looks from them. Bwa ha haa!
If you guys can pull it off, it'll eventually become a central element of your entertainment. You will get to listen and get the benefit of all that cash every night if you want.
So ... get rid of the man-cave and bring that stereo into the main room and let everyone in on the fun!
I mostly listen to music in my car, so the equipment (and sound quality) aren't as important to me, BUT, being able to steer my kid's taste away from "kid music" is a great point. I use our (frequent) car trips together as opportunities to introduce Iris to Broadway musicals, my favorite pop music (I'm with Kathy on that one...I no longer care about impressing people, so I can admit I am a pop music lover).
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I agree that when you enjoy something so much, it is so much more fun if you share it with the ones you love.
Hey, check out the soundtrack to "Kinky Boots" - Cyndi Lauper wrote the songs - and frankly, it sounds like it ... which is a good thing! (Review of the CD any by extension, the play, is in the works)
DeleteWe resolved this conflict by adding multiple systems around the house and having more than one seat in the "mancave". We have teenagers who want to do their own thing, but also "come by to see us". To be able to capture those rare moments we have three systems. One in the finished basement, hooked up to the TV, game consoles, but featuring a nice vintage Dual brand tt with a modern cartridge. Here the teens can spin vinyl with their friend or hook up their iPones via mini plug. The living-room system uses the Pioneer bookshelf speakers a nice receiver, the same model Dual tt and Bluetooth capability so that the "kids" can share their tunes or listen with us. The "mancave" has those panel speakers I can't live without - they just sound so much better. We did put a sofa in there so that my wife and I can go read, surf while listening to music. Once in a while we have one of our sons join us and we put bluetooth in, connected to a tubed DAC if they wan to share or sometimes they just listen to what we have put on. This set up works for all. Frankly this set up grew over time and much of it is set up with used components that we bought on Craigslist or e-bay. This way we did not have to compromise on the trips we want to take.
ReplyDeleteLove your solution! The key is to find a way for it all to work out for the whole family -- sounds like you guys did it without breaking the bank! Too often people end up with a dusty diorama of a stereo that rarely gets used. My wife, when we were dating, had me drag the stereo to the living room, and that's how it all started for us.
DeleteWe also built a few systems with a combo of used and new in a couple of other areas, and as kids have moved out (we're empty nesting now!) one or other of the systems became their starter systems.